The year long wait went very fast – I googled and googled about it daily. Hearing other people’s experience helped me a lot, knowing that I wasn’t on my own. This was also why I started a blog – perhaps my experience would help someone one day like how others had helped me.
For a while I kept thinking that it was my fault somehow, maybe I should have eaten better, maybe I should’ve done more about when I was younger… Endometriosis made me feel as if my body wasn’t mine to control. I was slowly coming into perspective however. Even though this disease was a bit of a monster, I could still enjoy my life most of the month and most of the day. There were people who were in far worse situations and I should be grateful that finally I knew exactly what I was dealing with, and how I could move on.
I got a call from the clinic finally – it was time to start IVF. We went to the clinic and picked up boxes of medications and injections. I have a schedule for when I should take what. I didn’t have a fear for needles but I really really and I mean REALLY, hated taking medications in the pill form so I did sigh quite a bit before taking the medications daily.
I told myself to focus on the big picture. The treatment wasn’t actually that long. My husband sat with me every time I took a pill or an injection. It was weird poking myself with a needle though because my brain was like having some kind of internal conflict – one end was saying “no no no don’t stab yourself with something sharp” at one end and the other end was saying “it’s your medication, do it”. *roll eyes.
One of the pills I received had to be injected “down there” too. It got a bit slippery and shot across the room a couple of times. I wasn’t sure I should laugh or cry… I didn’t ask my husband to be there for this pill!
I was actually glad that I was still going to work over this period – it kept my mind busy. The doctors and nurses were very kind and helpful. I felt that I was looked after well.
I set my sight on egg collection day. I felt at peace with it somehow, like I knew everything would be alright.