The start of the long wait was about this new thing (though it might have been there for a very long time) called Endometriosis, and after getting over the initial shock with it all, my doctor focused us on what was to be ahead of us: In Vitro Fertilisation aka IVF.
I know I should trust my own doctor and not “Doctor Google” but it was difficult not to. I googled and googled it daily. Not one day went by that I wasn’t thinking about it. Somehow reading other people’s experiences helped me mentally prepared myself for what might be ahead of me. Would it be just one round? Or two rounds? Or more? What would I feel with medication… The posts from other women who had gone through the same experiences helped me to set a more realistic expectation. The statistic might look harsh but in a way it taught me to take one day at a time.
Knowing that I wasn’t the only one meant a lot to me.
I read the booklet I received from the clinic over and over. Looking back interestingly after my son was born I threw it out straight away. It was as if I didn’t really want to remember the details. Or maybe I knew it too well and I didn’t need the booklet anymore.
Earlier on I decided that this wasn’t going to be a secret to my friends and colleagues. It was good to be able to actually share what I was going through. They were my sounding board, they provided me mental support. They understood the significance.
In a way a year really wasn’t all that long. It gave me the time to process it all. It gave me the time to gather my support around me. My doctor actually asked us about whether or not we wanted to pay for it privately earlier and we said no. The long wait turned to be a blessing in disguise.